259. How to Stop Feeling Like a Pushover in Conflict and Stand Firm When You Feel Wronged | The Not Too Sensitive Podcast

In this episode, Alissa gets into why the instinct to smooth things over the second someone reacts to your boundary is actually a form of people pleasing, and why building your tolerance for that discomfort is the first step toward feeling unbotherable.

Alissa traces this back to the fear of abandonment underneath it, whether that shows up as a partner flipping the story back on you or a family member waving off a hurtful comment as a joke. She shows how the pattern gets reinforced every time it's smoothed over instead of named, and why noticing what's actually driving the rush to resolution is what starts to shift the pattern.

Alissa shares what it actually looks like to sit in the discomfort of a boundary instead of collapsing it, so you can source your safety and self-respect from within instead of from someone else's reaction.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why the urge to smooth things over the moment your boundary lands is people pleasing
• How to recognize when you're rushing to resolution out of a fear of abandonment rather than genuine repair
• Why letting someone avoid the consequences of their own behavior quietly teaches them how to treat you
• How trusting what your body is telling you becomes more reliable than the story someone else is offering in the moment
• Why pushback from someone who's benefited from your smallness is a sign you're doing this right, not a sign you did something wrong

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